no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
