OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
