dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
