i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
