it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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