coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
