so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I need a beard to bite.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
