i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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