I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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