I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
