At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
They took my balls.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think your dad took our porno
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize