I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
