He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
