fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
