Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
