i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wish you could order shots online.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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