Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
