chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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