Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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