Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
