we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
