We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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