He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
