Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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