aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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