Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
