Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
