what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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