I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
