I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
