What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
