My room smells like vodka and shame
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You ate ashes out of my bong
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
