I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
