I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
