He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
