my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
