This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
