At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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