Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
