Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
