If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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