so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
