hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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