What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
