I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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