She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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