She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
