wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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