I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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