i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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