Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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