i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
