Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it's great music for shaving your balls
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
