try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
