Where did you get a picture of my penis
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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