i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
