I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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