My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
