please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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