I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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