the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
