Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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