do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
