That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
