After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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