Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you inspire me to be a worse person
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
